
The knock on the door had a confidence and persistence that negated the possibility of it belonging to my neighbor or one of his slack-jawed breathren. Through the peephole, I could make out two figures who were adults and nicely dressed. Still, I put on my mean face as I opened the door just an inch and prepared to scare them off.
It turned out that I knew them!
I was supposed to hang out with J and S last night. I had cancelled after finding out on Wednesday that another friend had committed suicide. I’ve been intermittently crying since then and didn’t want to be that person who bursts into tears and brings down the whole party.
They’d been thinking of me and came by with cupcakes (vegan, nut-free, containing chocolate), homemade Bailey’s (also vegan. Who knew there was a recipe for that?!) and a flash drive containing Sailor Moon S, Sailor Mono SuperS and Sailor Moon S: the Movie. I stood there, in my pajamas and my hair looking like a bird’s nest that had made sweet love to napalm and almost started crying.
I am surrounded by so many wonderful people and so much love. My life is very good.
Yesterday, we went to the reality show version of “Dante’s Inferno.” Most people know it as “the Children’s Museum during March break.”
There was much screaming from the children while many adults stood by with zombie-like eyes that said they had given up on parenting about three days ago.
We stayed for a little over an hour, a.k.a. the point when I thought my head was going to implode from all of the noise. Note to self: never go to this place during a holiday week.

A small side area where the screaming didn’t reach…as much.
Me: Your auntie is celebrating a big birthday! Guess how old she’s going to be.
Bug: Seven.
Me: Older.
Bug: Ten!
Me: Older.
Bug: Four.
Me: I said older.
Bug: Six.
Me: She’s going to be 50.
Bug: Just like Mommy!
Me: NOT AT ALL LIKE MOMMY.
Bug: (giggles)
As a child, I loved sending and receiving mail just because it was fun. It was more fun as an adult because it’s nice to receive something that isn’t a bill.
I don’t write as regularly as I used to, partly because the instant gratification of email is hard to resist and partly because I sometimes forget to see the joy and excitement of my own life because I’m “too busy” - whatever that means.
Every once in awhile, however, I’ll come across some stationery and think, “I’m going to surprise someone with a letter.”
Today, that’s Rachel: one of my oldest and dearest friends, and the person everyone should rush to interview when I’m famous. She knows all of my secrets.
(A fair reminder to her, however, that I also know all of hers! ♡)

Valentine’s Day did not get a lot of recognition in my home when I was growing up. By that, I mean it wasn’t a holiday when my mom would stay up all night cooking pancit and rolling lumpia. I would wake up to a nice card and some chocolate, but that was it.
I spent my teenage years pining for a Valentine, mostly because I was inexperienced enough to think that love plays out exactly like my favorite romantic movie (or maybe my second favorite, since it still saddens me that the princess left Gregory Peck behind). Eventually, I learned otherwise.
My first Valentine’s Day as part of a couple was ruined by my then-boyfriend excitedly mentioning a great place we could visit. It sounded fun, until he added, “Yeah, I used to take [his ex’s name] there every Valentine’s Day and she loved it. I figured you would, too.”
The next boyfriend I celebrated with did a fairy tale set up complete with dropping by unannounced with a dozen long-stemmed red roses before whisking me away to a beach side resort. That getaway was ruined by his continuous questions about what did my friends’ boyfriends do for them and he bet that they weren’t as romantic, thoughtful and extravagant as he.
The boyfriend after that… Well, we’d only met a few days prior to February 14th. He was an artist who drew a picture for me and presented it with an ornately carved box infused with amber. He said that he wanted to recognize the day without being overbearing or false. That was very sweet.
Overall, however, I’ve spent my adulthood not observing the day. I’ve spent the last few years doing a little more than I normally would because I have a son and it’s fun for him. Other than that, I’m more excited about February 15th, which is when all the V-Day candy gets marked down.
I was going to write, “When I was small, I liked to stand just outside of the ferris wheel barrier, stare up and imagine that I was about to be crushed.” That, however, would be a lie. There is no past tense about it. I still like doing this (and, yes, I still get freaked out).